Some people say that it is better to promote healthy lifestyles than spend so much money to treat obese people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Most individuals think that promoting healthy lifestyles from the
starting
Replace the word
start
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is much better than spending a huge amount of money on the treatment of humans who are overweight.
Although
there are great treatments available in the world for obese
people
, I would argue that giving knowledge about healthy living styles is more beneficial in terms of their health. There is no doubt that today, obese
people
can get treated easily with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology advancements. To elaborate, if humans are suffering from a problem of weight gain, they can easily find medication in the market which can help to reduce weight or in serious cases, they can be operated to remove extra fat from the body.
For instance
, a survey conducted in the USA (United States of America) revealed that 8 out of 10 obese
people
in New York undergo various surgeries to remove extra fat from
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
. In
this
way, obese
people
can be treated.
However
, there are numerous reasons that getting overweight treatment is not necessarily the best way. One of the major reasons is creating awareness about
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle among individuals is much better to
led
Change the verb
lead
show examples
healthy life. To explain, if individuals will be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
different body exercises and healthy eating habits, they will be
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
fitter and do not need to go to a doctor for taking treatment for obesity.
For example
, a survey conducted in Punjab state of India revealed that 80 per cent
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
of the state prefer to go to gyms and eat healthy food which led them to live healthy life and save them from gaining weight.
Thus
, making
people
aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle is more beneficial. In conclusion,
although
there can be great treatments available in the market to get rid of obesity like surgeries, I would say
promotion
Add an article
the promotion
show examples
of healthy lifestyles among the population can
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
beneficial to live
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
instead
of taking various treatments for treating obesity.
Submitted by sukhman.puchd on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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