All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #laptop #school

Most children should be given their own laptops when they start to grow up.In

case

Correct determiner usage

this case

show examples

,they start to understand more and start to learn

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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not to play video games. When children start to grow up and they go ay highschool they have more responsibility for their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

However

, I think when they are at

this

age they can

Verb problem

make

show examples

too many mistakes and

then

they will be sorry about what they did.In my opinion,parents should be supervisors because they are only fifteen years old and every parent should have a daily routine

Additionally

,nowadays teen life is harder they go to high school they meet new

friends

and they start new friend groups.,

Furthermore

, at that ,age they have a lot of

friends

and they do not have only good

friends

,teens start to go out with them

then

they feel copy them because they look cooler with vapes in their hands,cigarette and alcohol.So,they feel the same with them.When they go home they don't have time to do their homework because they want to chat with their

friends

or lovers.

For example

,their grades would be increased a lot and they will fight with their parents.As a result, parents of course would let them have a laptop but have more control over them. In conclusion, I think that having a laptop or a mobile phone is not a bad thing but it's not a good thing to stay too much on social media or chat with your

friends

On the other hand

,of ,course you can have free time but it's better to go out with your family.

Submitted by ona.muhametaj on Thu Jun 15 2023

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task response

The essay does not fully address the prompt. The argument about giving children laptops when they start high school is not clearly presented. There are relevant points made, but the response does not fully engage with the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear structure and organization. The introduction and conclusion are weak, and the main points are not effectively developed. There is a lack of coherence in the presentation of ideas, leading to a disjointed and unclear essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Robots and AI are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

General Training Writing Task 2 It is sometimes said that people should be encourages to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are important as to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?