In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

In the contemporary era, with the evolving social landscape, people’s perspectives on traffic issues have shown divergence.
Therefore
, the question of whether countries should spend a large budget to develop new railway lines for high-speed rail networks to connect cities, or enhance the current public
transport
has become a considerable debate.
This
essay will outline both viewpoints, and I believe that the improvement of existing public
transport
is more pivotal. On one hand, advocates of introducing new railway lines assert that the high-speed train offers people ready connections to different cities.
This
change shortens the distance of each city, making individuals save travel time.
Moreover
,
due to
many individuals across cities for work or study,
this
modern rail network
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
an alternative option for those who need to commute. Even more importantly, the high-speed train is
also
an indispensable infrastructure in today’s society, as it can improve the increase of tourists,
this
Correct your spelling
thus
show examples
, in turn, gaining the number of revenue for countries, which evidently is a correct investment.
On the other hand
, proponents of enhancing current public
transport
argue that there are numerous issues with present mass transit,
such
as inadequate route coverage, outdated carriages, and a lack of service time, all of which are pressing problems, as many commuters are impacted by these negative situations.
Therefore
, spending a large budget can immediately address these concerns and bring instant advantages for people. These improvements not only encourage commuters to choose public transportation but
also
reduce carbon emissions and alleviate traffic congestion. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that
while
building new railways for fast trains leads to certain benefits, prioritizing the development of existing public
transport
is more essential for people, as it offers immediate feedback and improves the quality of living.
Submitted by zora840810 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to delineate examples more comprehensively to substantiate your arguments, such as providing specific cases or data to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure is solid, avoid repetition of words like 'modern' and phrases that could be simplified. This leads to a clearer and more concise essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both viewpoints adequately and with balanced arguments.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained throughout, with smooth transitions between paragraphs which aids in better understanding.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are effectively written, clearly stating the main argument and summarizing the key points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: