Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the acdemic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #acdemic #world

People

can expand their

knowledge

when share it with others, that's why, a section of society claims that as much as possible data , related to science, business and academic studies should be shared among individuals,

while

others opine that all

information

should not be shared freely because some data is much important to distribute without any cost. From my perspective, it will be beneficial for fewer categories like poor

people

or gardening but not obliged to all. On the one hand, the community which believes that

information

should be shared gives their reasons as follows.

Firstly

, it will be beneficial for the underprivileged community. The public which has not sufficient funds to get

information

related to any specific field, will definitely get required assistance

due to

this

favour.

For example

, a poor student is interested and

well playing

Wrong verb form

plays

show examples

in science subject during schooling but he not

has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

enough money to pursue higher study in the same field, can get free data from science experts and will continue his graduation, without enrolling in a specific tuition.

Apart from

this

, individuals can enhance their

knowledge

when they distribute it to others. They get more experience.

Apart from

this

, free sharing really helps to find concealed talent.

On the other hand

, there are a plethora of reasons why some

information

should be provided on some amount. First and foremost, to get desired and better life

people

want to contribute their

knowledge

at a small amount of fee. To exemplify, a businessman, spends a huge amount of funds to get his education and degree so that he can succeed in future but it will be unfair if, the loopholes of his successful business

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

shared freely. From my viewpoint, sharing is caring and with the help of

this

contribution,

people

can help many unwealthy individuals but doctors, engineers, teachers and many more professionals spend extravagant wealth to earn

this

knowledge

so they cannot distribute

this

free of cost. To summarise, sharing

information

without any cost can be advantageous in a few sectors like gardening, farming and a few other small occupations

however

, there always should be some fees to share crucial

information

among a crowd.

Submitted by jaspreetkaur45047 on Thu Jun 15 2023

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task response

The essay presents relevant ideas but lacks depth and proper elaboration. Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure and uses appropriate linking words to connect ideas. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, and transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.

lexical resource

The essay displays a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. Aim for more precision and clarity in your language use.

grammatical range

The essay shows some errors in sentence structure and word usage that hinder overall clarity. Work on improving sentence variety and accuracy to enhance the overall quality of writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

363 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the acdemic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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