Differences between countries are barely evident these days. Everyone in the world is wearing the same brand and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

It is certainly true that today difference between nations has decreased.
People
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide
is dressing
Wrong verb form
dress in
show examples
the same
clothes
and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar content
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television and
movies
Change preposition
in movies
show examples
. In my perspective,
this
can considered a positive trend, because it can reduce the gap between countries and bring
people
together
as well as
assist
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
global
issues
.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why I believe that similarity between individuals regardless
clothes
Change preposition
of clothes
show examples
as well as
what they watch on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV can have benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the whole world.
Firstly
, If all
people
around the world wear the same clothing I think
this
can reduce the gap between wealthy and poor
people
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
people
regardless of their physical status
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can purchase jeans, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can contribute to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
the gap between nations .
Furthermore
,
simailar
Correct your spelling
similar
clothes
can eliminate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discrimination against
clothes
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can minimize the violence in our society.
Therefore
,
this
can
leads reduce
Wrong verb form
lead to a reduction in
show examples
the rate of crime
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Secondly
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
watch the same
movies
or TV
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
this
can make
people
share the same
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
and
issues
. To illustrate,
this
can make
people
take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
to solve these
issues
.
For instance
, if all
people
around the world
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
or documentary
movies
about climate change,
this
can
raising
Change the verb form
raise
be raising
show examples
awareness among
people
about
these issue
Change the determiner
this issue
these issues
show examples
.
As a result
,
people
will adopt measures to tackle
this
problem namely, taking public transport, cycling , reduce the
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
of goods, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigating
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change by
minimiz
Correct your spelling
minimising
the Co2 emissions in the atmosphere.
To sum up
, In my opinion sharing the same
clothes
and
movies
and television is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
development and can contribute to
solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global
issues
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
discrimination, crime,
environmental
Correct word choice
and environmental
show examples
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and development in some areas. It provides relevant examples but could benefit from clearer and more comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of main points is somewhat lacking, leading to a somewhat disjointed argument.
lexical resource
The lexical resource used in the essay is fairly varied, and a range of vocabulary is employed effectively. However, there are some errors and awkward phrasing that impact the overall fluency and coherence.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable command of grammatical structures and uses a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are several errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and article usage that affect clarity and accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogeneity
  • unity
  • connectivity
  • cultural diversity
  • unique traditions
  • global influences
  • loss of identity
  • individuality
  • positive impacts
  • negative impacts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: