Some parents believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by book reading. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed by
few
Correct article usage
a few
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parents that there should be limitations on spending time on television and playing computer
games
.
This
essay agrees with the statement that
such
kind of entertainment
souces
Correct your spelling
sources
show examples
should be replaced by book reading. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
, sitting in front of
TV
Add an article
the TV
show examples
and playing
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
games
effect
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affect
show examples
the child's mental
as well as
physical
health
. To
ellaborate
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elaborate
this
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on this
show examples
,
kids
these days watch
TV
for long hours,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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try to do the same thing shown
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
TV
such
as fighting in superheroes movies,
using
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and using
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
anapproriate
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inappropriate
appropriate
products or
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. addition of playing computer
games
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
show examples
weekness
Correct your spelling
weakness
in eyes.
Consequentely
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Consequently
, it affects their mental and physical
health
.
Moreover
, these sources of entertainment
reduces
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reduce
show examples
the growth of
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
Kids
these days do not like to play outdoor gaming
such
as
bedminton
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badminton
, tennis, football and so on. Unless these activities they always have
curiosity
Add an article
the curiosity
a curiosity
show examples
to play latest computer
games
.
However
, these
unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
activities should be replaced by book reading. Book reading is one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
to learn and gain knowledge. Reading
books
help
kids
to increase their level of
concentrstion
Correct your spelling
concentration
. Reading skills
becomes
Change the verb form
become
show examples
better by spending time on
books
.
Furthermore
, by reading
books
,
kids
can feel more
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
and
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
. Reading
books
helps in escaping the
kids
from study stresses not for some time but it is a permanent solution.
Conclusion
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In conclusion
show examples
, watching
TV
and playing
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
games
reduces the
health
as well as
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the weekens
show examples
weekens
Correct your spelling
weakens
weekends
weekend
the
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of the
show examples
child. Parents should give
thier
Correct your spelling
their
kids
intresting
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interesting
stories
books
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and books
show examples
to attract them toward reading. They should tell their children about the
benifits
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benefits
of reading over playing laptop
games
or watching television.
This
will help them in improving their
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
health
as well as
reading skills
Submitted by yogitakainth4502 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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