IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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As an introduction, the pie charts demonstrate the sources of
income
Use synonyms
 and expenses of a children's charity society in the USA, during the year 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the total amount of revenue was higher than the total expenditure.
In addition
Linking Words
, the largest proportion of
overall
Linking Words
income
Use synonyms
 came through donated foods,
while
Linking Words
 most of the money was spent on programme services.
Firstly
Linking Words
, out of the total
income
Use synonyms
 in 2016 ( 53 561 580 dollars), 86.6% was received from donated foods,
while
Linking Words
 the community contributed 10.4%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the remaining 3% was from programme revenue, investment
income
Use synonyms
, government grants and other sources, where each resource allocated money at rates of 2.2%, 0 2%, 0.2% and 0.4% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the total expenditure was 53 224 896 dollars, which was slightly lower than the
income
Use synonyms
. Out of that, 95.8% was spent on programme services,
whereas
Linking Words
, the rest was on fundraising and management and general by 3.6% and 1.6% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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