IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that smoking cigarettes should be banned. On the other hand, there are those who disagree with this measure. Do you agree or disagree with the banning of cigarettes?

#people #cigarettes #hand #measure
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People
Use synonyms
 have been dependent
to
Change preposition
on
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cigarettes
Use synonyms
 and it has been
a
Correct article usage
apply
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prevalence
Replace the word
prevalent
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 in
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era. Research tells us that
cigarettes
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 are addictive,
however
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, smokers find it hard to quit smoking. In relation to
health
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, there are
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 disrepute. Despite the damaging effects that smoking
cigarettes
Use synonyms
 could give, there are debates on whether smoking
cigarettes
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 should be banned or not. I would say that I agree smoking
cigarettes
Use synonyms
 should be banned. The following essay will share my thoughts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the issue. First and foremost, smoking will jeopardize
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smokers’
health
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. Real evidence of smoking
cigarettes
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 is
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 instance, many
people
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 have been experiencing lung cancer. Not only cancer, but other
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 as well
such
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 as heart disease, and pregnancy issues. Ultimately, smoking activities could lessen the year of
people
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’s lives.
This
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 invention
also
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 aligns with
Correct article usage
the researcher
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researcher
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researcher's
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 findings.
Secondly
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,
smoking
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the smoking
a smoking
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 habit will
also
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 damage the passive smokers’
health
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. Even though they are not smoking directly,
nevertheless
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,
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cigarettes
Change the noun form
cigarette
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 particles could be inhaled by them and degrade their
health
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 activity will be so much
dangerous
Correct quantifier usage
more dangerous
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 if the particles are inhaled by babies or toddlers. That will cause breathing problems
to
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for
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 them.
This
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 activity will create an inconvenient environment towards other
people
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 In conclusion, smoking
cigarettes
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 is not beneficial at all. Government should ban and control the supply and production of
cigarettes
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.
Besides
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 that,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should
also
Linking Words
 create strict rules regarding
this
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 issue, both for the company and consumers. Smokers should have to think of other
people
Use synonyms
 who do not smoke and together create a convenient environment.
Submitted by annisafitriyani on

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