IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that smoking cigarettes should be banned. On the other hand, there are those who disagree with this measure. Do you agree or disagree with the banning of cigarettes?

#people #cigarettes #hand #measure
People
 have been dependent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
cigarettes
 and it has been
a
Correct article usage
apply
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prevalence
Replace the word
prevalent
show examples
 in
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
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 era. Research tells us that
cigarettes
 are addictive,
however
, smokers find it hard to quit smoking. In relation to
health
, there are
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
 disrepute. Despite the damaging effects that smoking
cigarettes
 could give, there are debates on whether smoking
cigarettes
 should be banned or not. I would say that I agree smoking
cigarettes
 should be banned. The following essay will share my thoughts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the issue. First and foremost, smoking will jeopardize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smokers’
health
. Real evidence of smoking
cigarettes
 is
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, many
people
 have been experiencing lung cancer. Not only cancer, but other
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
 as well
such
 as heart disease, and pregnancy issues. Ultimately, smoking activities could lessen the year of
people
’s lives.
This
 invention
also
 aligns with
Correct article usage
the researcher
show examples
researcher
Change noun form
researcher's
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 findings.
Secondly
,
smoking
Add an article
the smoking
a smoking
show examples
 habit will
also
 damage the passive smokers’
health
. Even though they are not smoking directly,
nevertheless
,
cigarettes
Change the noun form
cigarette
show examples
 particles could be inhaled by them and degrade their
health
.
Moreover
,
this
 activity will be so much
dangerous
Correct quantifier usage
more dangerous
show examples
 if the particles are inhaled by babies or toddlers. That will cause breathing problems
to
Change preposition
for
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 them.
This
 activity will create an inconvenient environment towards other
people
 In conclusion, smoking
cigarettes
 is not beneficial at all. Government should ban and control the supply and production of
cigarettes
.
Besides
 that,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
also
 create strict rules regarding
this
 issue, both for the company and consumers. Smokers should have to think of other
people
 who do not smoke and together create a convenient environment.
Submitted by annisafitriyani on

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