IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001. Write a report to university lecturer describing the data. Write at least 150 words.

The graph show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001. Write a report to university lecturer describing the data. Write at least 150 words.
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The given pie charts illustrate the ordinary expenses of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom's citizens in two different years, 1971 and 2001 respectively. As is observed from the chart, the expenditure on petrol and furniture reduced significantly
while
Linking Words
 the amount spent on computers increased.
Linking Words
Initially
Add a comma
,Initially
show examples
 in 1971, British people spent 36% on petrol which was the highest percentage among the given
expense
Use synonyms
 categories. Their
expense
Use synonyms
 on furniture placed the second rank at 32%, afterwards, spending money on restaurants occupied the third rank in their
expense
Use synonyms
 categories. The least amount spent by them was
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 which was only 7% in mentioned
year
Use synonyms
. After 30 years, in the first
year
Use synonyms
 of
21th
Change the ending
21st
show examples
 century, the
expense
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 furniture and petrol
reduced
Add a missing verb
was reduced
show examples
 to 8% which is significantly lower than the percentage in 1971. but the
expense
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 computers
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
. The expenditure for books added to the category
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. spending money on restaurants considerably decreased to% compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
25% in 1971. The cause of
this
Linking Words
 reduction could be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spending more on preparing food at home. The highest amount spent in 2001 by UK people was
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and that consists almost half of the total
Use synonyms
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by m.v.g1371 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words expense, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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