Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness dificult to define? how can people achieve happiness?

#people #money #happiness #dificult

Nowadays, most

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apply

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the

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bestseller

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bestseller's

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books talk about how

happiness

can be reached. There is a general belief that thinks that

happiness

can'

be bought with material belongings. Humans are made out of

emotions

including happy states which are part of a process of personal growth.

Emotions

can'

be bought with money but money can potentially help

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them. First of all, it is very vague to say that

happiness

can'

be a result of having a healthy bank account.

Overall

, money can help you reach your desires and those will make you

temporary

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temporarily

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happy.

On the other hand

, it is

also

true that someone can achieve more

happiness

by desiring less. Psychologists struggled to find the right definition

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happiness

however

, after years and years of studies they realised that

emotions

are just an inner state.

Then

happiness

is inside every individual and varies depending

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a person's personality and beliefs. The second main topic is about wondering how

happiness

can be reached. The

answers

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answer

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from many professionals is that an ultimate recipe does not work for everyone.

However

, the key is to acknowledge that

emotions

are not a final goal to be reached.

For example

, someone will never know what

happiness

means if they don'

allow themselves to be sad. With

this

in mind, humans need to accept low

emotions

in order to identify the high ones. To summarise, the pursuit of

happiness

is an interesting topic for society, where many books about

emotions

have been written. Many studies have shown that happy

emotions

occur during short periods of time and in order to spot them, we need to allow ourselves to feel sad as well.

Submitted by celinedoultremontt on Fri Jun 16 2023

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task response

Your essay covers the topic of happiness and money, but the response is not fully developed. Make sure to thoroughly address each part of the prompt and provide a more comprehensive analysis.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical structure, introduction, and conclusion. However, there are areas where more effective transitions and linkers could be used to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness dificult to define? how can people achieve happiness?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People in the current generations are not fit and active. What are the problems. What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities.

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and houses in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produces all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In some culture are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and more disadvantages of giving children these massages?