Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness dificult to define? how can people achieve happiness?

#people #money #happiness #dificult

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Nowadays, most

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apply

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apply

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the

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bestseller

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bestseller's

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books talk about how

happiness

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can be reached. There is a general belief that thinks that

happiness

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can'

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be bought with material belongings. Humans are made out of

emotions

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including happy states which are part of a process of personal growth.

Emotions

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can'

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be bought with money but money can potentially help

hiding

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them. First of all, it is very vague to say that

happiness

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can'

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be a result of having a healthy bank account.

Overall

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, money can help you reach your desires and those will make you

temporary

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temporarily

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happy.

On the other hand

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, it is

also

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true that someone can achieve more

happiness

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by desiring less. Psychologists struggled to find the right definition

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happiness

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however

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, after years and years of studies they realised that

emotions

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are just an inner state.

Then

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happiness

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is inside every individual and varies depending

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a person's personality and beliefs. The second main topic is about wondering how

happiness

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can be reached. The

answers

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from many professionals is that an ultimate recipe does not work for everyone.

However

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, the key is to acknowledge that

emotions

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are not a final goal to be reached.

For example

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, someone will never know what

happiness

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means if they don'

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allow themselves to be sad. With

this

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in mind, humans need to accept low

emotions

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in order to identify the high ones. To summarise, the pursuit of

happiness

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is an interesting topic for society, where many books about

emotions

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have been written. Many studies have shown that happy

emotions

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occur during short periods of time and in order to spot them, we need to allow ourselves to feel sad as well.

Submitted by celinedoultremontt on Fri Jun 16 2023

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task response

Your essay covers the topic of happiness and money, but the response is not fully developed. Make sure to thoroughly address each part of the prompt and provide a more comprehensive analysis.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical structure, introduction, and conclusion. However, there are areas where more effective transitions and linkers could be used to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness dificult to define? how can people achieve happiness?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do the disadvantages of global homogenization outweigh the advantages?

In many countries today, women have full-time jobs. Therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?