IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some say it is better to have vertical cities with lots of tall buildings rather than horizontal cities with fewer tall buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the
last
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 few decades, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of skyscrapers in
cities
Use synonyms
.
While
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 some support the idea of multiple tall buildings in modern towns, including myself, some may strongly disagree. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the practicality
that is
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 associated with vertical
cities
Use synonyms
. One can expect a rapid rise in vertical
cities
Use synonyms
 in the near future
due to
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 a shortage of
area surface
Correct word order
surface area
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 for the exponentially growing population. Delhi, the most populous city in the world,
for example
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, has a high number of locals struggling to find a house. Because of
this
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, the government is introducing new schemes to build high-rise buildings that can accommodate a lot more people compared to a single house built on the same land area.
Therefore
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, keeping space efficiency in mind, the construction of vertical
cities
Use synonyms
 should be highly promoted to combat the dire issue of land shortage. Another compelling reason for encouraging folks to support the idea of vertical
cities
Use synonyms
 is safety and security. With more public living in the same complex, guarded by security, lesser will be
a
Correct article usage
the
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 risk of robbery and kidnapping. As horizontally built nuclear houses pose a significant threat to the residents
due to
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 more isolated space
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and community. In Canada, where one can observe plenty of skyscrapers, reported cases of burglary are far less than in a city in India
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 has very few tall
buildings
Punctuation problem
buildings,
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 as many prefer to live in isolated houses. Thereby, one can say that a family living together in an apartment complex
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
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 added security.
To conclude
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 from the aforementioned discussion, I am a proponent of the argument that during planning a city's infrastructure and house-hunting, issues of land shortage
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and public safety should be considered.

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Task Response
Give your view clearly in the start and end with a clear, strong finish. Add more ideas and real proof.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make each paragraph start with a clear main idea, then add proof or example, and link ideas with simple words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Check grammar and word choice. Fix errors like 'offer' and 'nuclear houses' and make noun and verb match.
Strength
The writer takes a clear stand in favour of vertical cities.
Strength
The essay uses examples to back up points.
Strength
Conclusion restates the view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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