Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes(for example working for a charity,improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to young children) To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

A lot of individuals support that charity

services

should be a mandatory part of high school activities. I personally agree with

this

opinion and

this

essay will discuss the reasons and relevant examples to support my viewpoint.

To begin

with, a wide range of various community

services

can instil in

students

a strong sense of positive character.

This

is because they can improve children's moral and social values which can help

students

to be more responsible citizens in the future.

For example

, when I was a junior high school student, my school organized events like charity which

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

taking care of kindergarten kids. Even if we did not receive any money, we did our best as far as we could.

Additionally

not only taught us how to be patient with children but

also

made us more independent and mature than before which no teacher or book can instil.

Moreover

such

services

also

can make

students

decrease stress. To explain that in modern societies

students

are bothered with academic subjects

such

as math science history and so on.

However

, these non-academic events can make them happy and feel free.

As a result

,they can more concentrate on their subjects and perform better during the exams.

For instance

according to

scientific research, if

students

do some charities, can feel satisfied with themselves and increase their confidence by helping others. In conclusion , I totally agree with

this

statement , it is beneficial for children to do unpaid community

services

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they can instil positive characters and happier emotions.

Submitted by jaehee0203.jh on Fri Jun 16 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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