Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative a negative development?

It is argued that, in recent years, many young
children
spend a lot of time on their mobile
phones
every day.
While
technology
has changed people’s lives, especially the new generations, in recent years, I personally think that
children
should supervise
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
parents
in terms of using mobile
phones
to mitigate some of their negative impacts.
To begin
with, there are many reasons
that
Correct word choice
why
show examples
nowadays young
children
spend hours on mobile
phones
daily. The main factor is the advancement of the
technology
.
This
is because of the
technology
, most of the games are applications on mobile
phones
or tablets or require
children
to play them online.
For example
, many
children
are interested in playing football online
instead
of going out and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
it with their peers.
Therefore
, if they did not have access to these digital devices, they would probably play games traditionally in the street,
for instance
.
On the other hand
,
although
children
tend to
paly
Correct your spelling
play
show examples
with their digital devices every day, the drawbacks of
this
are far greater in the long run.
Firstly
, it could cause poor communication skills for them.
This
means that they might spend most of their time on mobile
phones
rather than having face-to-face communication with peers or even their
parents
, leading to a lack of confidence when they want to interact with others.
Therefore
, they are likely to
be struggle
Change the verb form
struggle
show examples
in the future as they could not develop
this
crucial skill in their early life.
Secondly
, it could
bring
Verb problem
create
show examples
a gap between
parents
and
children
.
As many
Correct word choice
Many
show examples
adults might not be able to adapt themselves to the
technology
like a child.
For instance
, they are likely to misunderstand their youngsters in the long run as they are not involved in their work.
To sum up
, it is true that
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
show interest in using their mobile
phones
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a daily basis.
Nevertheless
, I believe it has many negative aspects on them and they need to be guided by their
parents
to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potential issues in the future.
Submitted by nastaran.moghadasi on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas in a more logical order.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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