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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015.

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015.
#show #government #expenditure
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Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
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 two pie chart provides information to compare the consumption in the local government among nine
categories
Use synonyms
 in 2010 and 2015. Over the
five-years
Correct your spelling
five-year
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 period, there were significant changes in expenditure.
Overall
Linking Words
,
ther
Correct your spelling
there
 are four main
categories
Use synonyms
 as we can see and almost they are at the same range of expenditure through the 5 years, which they are education, healthcare, pensions and defence. It seems that the interest on borrowing will rise about double from 5% to 10%. Welfare and culture and
lesisure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 both had little interest about 3 to 2% but over the years decreases to 1%
mainwhile
Correct your spelling
meanwhile
main while
 defence faced
declining
Correct article usage
a declining
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 trend from 17% to 14%.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
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 transport gradually increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 5%.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the other
categories
Use synonyms
 remained stable at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 percentage of expenditure. In general, most
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 nine
categories
Use synonyms
 remained in good nice increase or stable through the 5 years. Personally, I see that the consumption
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education ought to rise
instead
Linking Words
 of decreasing from 24% to 21%.
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words categories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • allocation
  • budget
  • fiscal
  • increased/decreased spending
  • percentage
  • funding
  • infrastructure
  • public services
  • education
  • healthcare
  • recreation
  • welfare
  • economic conditions
  • fiscal policy
  • trend
  • analysis
  • comparative
  • significant
  • allocate
  • reallocate
  • subsidize
  • cutbacks
  • deficit
  • surplus
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