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Writing Samples
Band 8

In some culture, children are being told that they can achieve anything if they work hard.What are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#culture #children #work #message
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Children
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 in certain countries are told that if they
work
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 hard they can achieve everything they want. In my opinion, having the
motivation
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 and never giving up are some advantages of
this
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 message.
On the other hand
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, being too hard on themself and focusing only on their
work
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 are some drawbacks. The first positive consequence is juveniles will have the
motivation
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 to achieve their goals.
Moreover
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, when
people
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 are telling
children
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 that they can accomplish anything they want, they are staring believing in themselves and will never give up on their dreams.
For example
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, in a lot of cultures,
children
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 are constantly told that they do not need big goals because they probably will not attain them which is why is better to choose something easier which is why minors lose all
motivation
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 and do not follow their dreams.
However
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,
this
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 message has it is downsides, some
children
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 will be overworking themselves and will focus only on their
work
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.
For instance
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, these days the pressure at school is really high, everyone expects youth to do a lot of
work
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 and get good grades all the time and if
people
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also
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 will tell them that they suppose to
work
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 very hard to get what they want,
children
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 will be really hard on themselves.
This
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 can lead to constant
work
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 without any rest and not having time for different fun activities.
To conclude
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,
although
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this
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 statement can be really helpful for a lot of young
people
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due to
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 how it will help their
motivation
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 and they will never give up on their dreams, it has negative consequences that
people
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 should be aware of like being too harsh on themselves and not having time for other things.
Submitted by maat2074 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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