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Band 4.5

The difference in the age between parents and their children has increased compared to the past. Do you think advantages of this trend far outweigh its disadvantages?

#difference #age #parents #children #trend
In comparison to the old days, the masses prefer to become parents in their thirties rather than at an early age. From my perspective, it has more drawbacks than benefits because the youngsters might not have fun with them.
To begin
 with, the youth who had old guardians could have the following advantages. To commence with, they could have better educational amenities
along with
 a good living standard. To elaborate, in the later years of the journey,the families become financially more stable and rich.
Consequently
, they could afford the best institutes for their wards to study and to give a good lifestyle.
For example
, at an early age, they could have enough savings and a better job, if they pay attention to their career.
Therefore
, couples want to become wealthy before initiating their family planning.
On the other hand
, the inhabitants could face hurdles in the long term.
Initially
, the offspring could not enjoy their life at the utmost, nowadays.
In other words
, the mother and father
could
Verb problem
do
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 not have sufficient energy
for devoting
Change preposition
to devote
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 towards their young
ones
Change noun form
ones'
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 nurturing and want to keep a nanny.
For instance
, in the forties, the person could leave with hardly any power to play with their kids or to meet their sprint level.
Besides
this
, sometimes, the adults
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 focus on their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, they might have to look after their parents,
due to
 illness because of their age. In conclusion, the way of maintaining a difference of years in the next generation could assist
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
show examples
provisions to their children;
however
, it could have a detrimental impact on the upbringing and life of the adults. Since they might not have enough support from their elder later on.
Submitted by jhajjravneet9 on

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task response
Fully address the prompt and provide a clear opinion on the given topic. Provide more balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion. Use linking words and cohesive devices to better connect ideas and paragraphs.

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