IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the best way to control accidents on city streets is to lower the speed limit, but others think there are better ways to improve the safety on city streets. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Most of the online and physical platforms have been
argued
Verb problem
used
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 to research the best way to solve street issues. The first side
convinces
Verb problem
argues
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 that limiting speed rates can decrease
number of the
Correct word order
the number of
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 accidents,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the opposite side opines that there are more appropriate ways to improve. I partially agree with
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
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both sides. On one hand, the first
opines
Verb problem
opinion is
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 that controlling the speed limit will serve as a more effective solution because the driver will be aware of the traffic law,
therefore
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, the existence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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awareness will
appear
Verb problem
exist
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, controlling speed limit open the doors to decreasing the number of transportation accidents .
For instance
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, the government rewrites the law that the operator can drive between 60-100 kilometres per hour
,
Punctuation problem
;
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thus
Linking Words
, they are forced to study the new law.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the opposite
criticizes
Change the spelling
criticises
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 that there are more appropriate solutions
,
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;
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therefore
Linking Words
, they offer the solution that the officer should be serious with their duty and increase the punishment for the troublemaker because the punishment has an important influence on embedding and focusing for the driver.
Furthermore
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, the variety of events about embedding good behaviour helps mental
,
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apply
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 responsibility and enlightens behaviour for them.
This
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 operation will attract most of the rookies to be more responsive to the population. In conclusion,
this
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 issue has been
criticized
Change the spelling
criticised
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 by the population for a decade because everyone wants not only a better life quality but
also
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 security for their life
,
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;
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therefore
Linking Words
,
cooperating
Replace the word
cooperation
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 from every
organization
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organisation
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 can give an important contribution to improving society.

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task response
State your main view clearly in the introduction and keep it in the body to ensure the reader understands your position.
coherence
Make a simple plan in the intro (what views you will discuss) and use one paragraph for each idea with a clear link to the next idea.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas connect (for example, however, also, in addition). this will help the flow of your essay.
task response
Give more simple, specific examples to support each point about road safety and show why it leads to the conclusion.
content
Effort to discuss both views and to give an opinion.
content
Includes a practical example about speed limits.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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