IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries. What problem does this cause? What solution can you suggest?

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Many occupations like
doctors
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 and
teachers
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 are moving to more developed
countries
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.
This
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 essay will examine the
problem
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 that decreasing occupation in poor
countries
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 causes and possible solutions to
this
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problem
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. A lot of
doctors
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 and
teachers
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 are moving to the city with a better economy
due to
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 the lower minimum wage that they got in their own
countries
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, these could cause significant
problem
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 for their own
country
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’s development, for ,instance if there are a decreasing amount of
doctors
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 and
teachers
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 profession, it means that there will be a decrease of town
facilities
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 so that citizens can’t get the education and health care that they needed. ,
Also
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 the
country
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's economic growth will
also
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 be at a halt because the decrease in
facilities
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 make the citizens choose to go to other
countries
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 with better facility
instead
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 to fulfil their needs. Some possible solutions to
this
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problem
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 are increasing the minimum pay for the professionals in the
countries
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 to keep them staying,
this
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 can be done by investing in the infrastructure of health and academic
facilities
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,
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moreover
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,moreover
show examples
this
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 can lead to the increase of economic growth of the
country
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 and help in continuous professional development opportunities, by using
this
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 method more occupation will choose to stay in their home
countries
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instead
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 of moving to others.
To conclude
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, the increase of professionals moving to better economic
countries
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 can result in a decrease in the
country
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's economic improvement.
However
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, improving the
country
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's
facilities
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 can lessen the chance of
doctors
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 and
teachers
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 leaving the
country
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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