Cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money making attractions aimed at tourist or is it the only way to save these tradition. Discuss and give you opinion.

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In the modern era, people are forgetting their
traditions
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day by day. Some people think that cultural roots can be used as money-making attractions,
whereas
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others believe that they can destroy their authenticity.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe that commercialisation can be beneficial if managed carefully.
To begin
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with, when the
traditions
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are used as money-making attractions,
it
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they
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can negatively impact their originality.
Moreover
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, modifing customary to entertain tourists can lose their original meaning and value.
For example
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, traditional dances or rituals may be shortened to suit audience expectations, rather than being performed in their true form.
As a result
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, future generations may only learn a distorted version of their heritage.
Furthermore
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, excessive commercialisation can turn cultural practices into mere business activities, reducing their emotional and historical significance.
On the other hand
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, tourism can play a crucial role in preserving cultural
traditions
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. Financial support generated from tourism can be used to maintain historical sites, support artisans, and promote cultural education. In many communities,
traditions
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have survived specifically because they attract tourists.
For instance
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, festivals, handicrafts, and traditional performances often continue because they provide income to local people. Without
this
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economic incentive, many
traditions
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might disappear entirely
due to
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a lack of interest or funding. In my opinion, cultural
traditions
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should be shared with tourists, but in a responsible and balanced way. Proper regulations and cultural education can help maintain authenticity
while
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still benefiting economically. In conclusion,
although
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commercialisation can sometimes damage cultural
traditions
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, it can
also
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help preserve them by providing financial support and global recognition.
Therefore
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, a balanced approach is necessary to protect cultural heritage
while
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allowing it to evolve in the modern world.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in each body part.
task response
Add one more clear and real example to support your ideas.
task response
Explain a bit more how tourism saves tradition and how it may harm it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more careful way so each idea flows well.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it fully.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar and word form mistakes because they can make the flow less smooth.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your opinion.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphing is good and logical.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • commodification
  • cultural exchange
  • authenticity
  • dilution
  • financial support
  • community involvement
  • preservation
  • intrinsic value
  • misrepresentation
  • cultural heritage
  • tourism impact
  • economic benefits
  • cultural representation
  • local customs
  • heritage preservation
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