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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employees’ life easier?

#people #work #hours #stress #workplace #employers #employees’ #life
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Recently , some people have had to
work
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 for a long time , and
therefore
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 it is more stressful compared to the past , in
this
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 essay I will discuss the reasons behind the
stress
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 at
work
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, and suggest some solutions .
To begin
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 with reasons for
stress
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 at
work
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 , there are many factors that can cause anxiety . The main factor is the
work
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 environment in terms of the employer ,
for instance
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 , in 2002 there is a survey showcased a huge number of
employees
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 felt
stress
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 when they worked under an unprofessional Manager, and they said the majority of
employees
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 were unqualified to deal with the job and ask for an extra hour to
work
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 without reasonable reason or offer a reward which makes them stressed .
However
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, to solve
this
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 issue employers have to provide a safe environment to
work
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 effectively ,
for example
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 ,
instead
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 of threatening the
employees
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 if they make a mistake and making them stressed try to provide a way to solve the problem with them through courses , dialogue, and teamworkwork , which in turn lead to reduce the
stress
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.
moreover
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 , employers should put a limited time around 8 hours after that they have to back home . In conclusion, these days many people feel stressed after
work
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 for a long time
due to
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 different reasons like an insecure environment ,
however
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, there are some solutions like providing a safe atmosphere , so employers should focus on
employees
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' feelings to avoid any future problems
Submitted by rwnalanezi on

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task response
Make sure to clearly define your main points in the introduction and then support them with more detailed arguments and examples. This helps improve task response and cohesion.
coherence
Some sentences are slightly unclear, review them to ensure they effectively convey your ideas. Clarity can enhance coherence.
cohesion
Incorporate more specific examples to back up the points and show insightful thought.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a structured approach to the topic.
content
You presented legitimate reasons for workplace stress and suitable solutions, showing you understood the topic well.
logic
Efforts are evident to logically structure the essay, making it reasonably easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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