Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

It is argued that the sports facilities should be increased in number to improve citizens’

health

while

others claim that other initiatives are more essential to be conducted.

While

I support the idea that installing more sports facilities would help ordinary people to enhance their general

health

, I am more convinced that other effective measures should be taken. On the one hand, people’s general

health

status could have been improved greatly via exercising. It is proven that working out fastens the amount of oxygen to the brain, helping people be more concentrative and optimistic.

Therefore

, lack of physical exercise or insufficient physical movements one’s working performance may be impacted and less productive.

For example

, Hanoi citizens are reported to be healthier than they were because of the availability of exercise equipment right at the local parts.

However

, I believe that

this

measure just improves partially not whole the public’s

health

On the other hand

, there is a wide range of conducts to

prevents

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

poor

health

conditions. Improving diet quality is one of the effective measures that should not be neglected.

A good

Remove the article

Good

show examples

physical

health

is indeed contributed by many elements, and a full nutrient meal makes consumers stronger and strongly resistant to some diseases. In Vietnam, there used to be a program of introducing milk into daily meals to deter malnutrition

for

Change preposition

show examples

children. After 2 years of conducting

this

campaign, the number of underweight children was minimised noticeably.

Therefore

, I completely advocate other solutions to implement to warrant the public’s general

health

. In conclusion,

although

launching more sports facilities would benefit the

overall

health

of citizens, I think that

this

matter could be addressed better by other methods.

Submitted by nhassan003 on Sat Jun 17 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many Western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children for study what are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children?

some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE EDUCATION SYSTEM IS THE ONLY CRITICAL FACTOR TO DEVELOPMENT OF A COUNTRY. TO WHAT EXTEND DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?