IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year. It can make them perform better in their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, the topic of whether an employer should provide
employees
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 with at least four weeks of vacation every year to make them perform better at
work
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 has aroused heated discussions in society. Some believe that offering vacation will make
employees
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 perform better,
while
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 others hold the opposite view. In my opinion, I am more against
this
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 view. On one hand, a four-week vacation can fully relax the bodies and minds of
employees
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, reducing their
work
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 pressure and allowing them to perform better.
Additionally
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, during the holidays,
employees
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 have plenty of free time to think, generating new ideas about
work
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 and improving their future
work
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 performance.
On the other hand
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, employers giving
employees
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 four weeks off can
also
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 have some disadvantages.
Although
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employees
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 will get full rest during their holidays, their original
work
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 progress will fall far behind others after the holidays, which will make the company's competitiveness decline. It is difficult for
employees
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 to catch up on their
work
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. They need to
work
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 overtime for a long time to complete the tasks that should be completed on time.
Such
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 vacations will make them lose more than they gain. And if they don't
work
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 for too long, it will make them forget some of their
work
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 skills. They will feel unfamiliar with the
work
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 content and cannot quickly enter the working state, making it difficult for them to recover their
work
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 performance before the holiday.
Overall
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, giving
employees
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 four weeks off is not a good option for employers to improve their performance at
work
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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