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Some people think children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom
In recent days, a topic has aroused heated discussions in society about whether
children
 nowadays have too much
freedom
. Some people think that
today
's
children
 are too free and loose,
while
 others think that
children
 are not free enough. In my opinion, I approve of
children
 having too much
freedom
. On the one hand, with the development of technology,
children
 in
today
's era can use technology to obtain more information, and they can communicate with different people through the Internet. It seems that
children
 have too much
freedom
.
Moreover
, a large part of parents
today
's education methods and concepts are not good. Sometimes, they neglect to supervise and guide their
children
 because they are busy with work.
Additionally
, other parents may overly spoil their
children
. Overindulging their
children
 because of their parents will
also
 give them too much
freedom
.
In addition
, schools should
also
 be responsible for giving
children
 too much
freedom
.
Today
's schools do not interfere too much with
students
' personal studies and life. They emphasize the importance of
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
 independent learning and thinking, which makes
children
 less restrained and have too much
freedom
.
On the other hand
,
today
's society is highly competitive for jobs, and the requirements for academic qualifications are getting higher and higher, so
students
 must study hard,
otherwise
 they will not be able to find satisfactory jobs, nor can they earn enough money to support their families or themselves, which may lead to One of the reasons why they are not free enough.
In addition
, most schools in China
today
 care about
students
' grades because it will affect their reputation. They assign a lot of homework to their
students
, leaving them with little time to do what they like because they are busy with tasks assigned by the teacher.
This
 results in
students
 having less free time. In general, I support the idea that kids in
today
's society have too much
freedom
.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but work on the overall coherence within paragraphs to link ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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