Some people think children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom

In recent days, a topic has aroused heated discussions in society about whether

children

nowadays have too much

freedom

. Some people think that

today

children

are too free and loose,

while

others think that

children

are not free enough. In my opinion, I approve of

children

having too much

freedom

. On the one hand, with the development of technology,

children

today

's era can use technology to obtain more information, and they can communicate with different people through the Internet. It seems that

children

have too much

freedom

Moreover

, a large part of parents

today

's education methods and concepts are not good. Sometimes, they neglect to supervise and guide their

children

because they are busy with work.

Additionally

, other parents may overly spoil their

children

. Overindulging their

children

because of their parents will

also

give them too much

freedom

In addition

, schools should

also

be responsible for giving

children

too much

freedom

Today

's schools do not interfere too much with

students

' personal studies and life. They emphasize the importance of

students'

Correct your spelling

student's

show examples

independent learning and thinking, which makes

children

less restrained and have too much

freedom

On the other hand

today

's society is highly competitive for jobs, and the requirements for academic qualifications are getting higher and higher, so

students

must study hard,

otherwise

they will not be able to find satisfactory jobs, nor can they earn enough money to support their families or themselves, which may lead to One of the reasons why they are not free enough.

In addition

, most schools in China

today

care about

students

' grades because it will affect their reputation. They assign a lot of homework to their

students

, leaving them with little time to do what they like because they are busy with tasks assigned by the teacher.

This

results in

students

having less free time. In general, I support the idea that kids in

today

's society have too much

freedom

Submitted by y2083749065 on Sat Jun 17 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but work on the overall coherence within paragraphs to link ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

In many contries shopping onlines is replacing shopping in stores. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage.

People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems if people try to achieve this balance? How to overcome these problem

As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?