IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Behavior in school is getting worse.Explain the causes and the effects of this problems,and suggest some possible solutions

#behavior #school #effects
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Even the activities at
school
Use synonyms
 are changing for the worse. The essay will first suggest that the biggest problem caused by
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is disorder and bad
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
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 of
children
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 and
then
Linking Words
 submit
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthening
show examples
discipline
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 and raising
children
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 as the most viable solution. It is undeniable that there are some serious
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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to
Change preposition
for
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violation
Correct article usage
the violation
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 of the established order in schools because schools give freedom for everything.
As a result
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, students are going down the wrong path with
this
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 bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. The other major point bad
up bringing
Correct your spelling
upbringing
show examples
 in
children
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 because their environment and education at home is like that, so they are in the same at
school
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. If the education given in the family is not changed the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in the
school
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 will continue to
be disturb
Change the verb form
be disturbed
show examples
. There
several
Add a missing verb
are several
show examples
 actions that could be taken the solve the problems described above.
Firstly
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 a simple solution
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
would be
increase
Fix the infinitive
to increase
show examples
discipline
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 because
discipline
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 is strong
school
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 activities will not be disturbed. If
such
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 measures are not taken it will lead to a situation.
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Secondly
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,Secondly
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 make students obey the rules of the
school
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. Take strict action if
this
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discipline
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 is not followed. In summary,the root cause of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 in
school
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 is getting worse is
disorderlines
Correct your spelling
disorderliness
disorder lines
 and uneducated pupils and
this
Linking Words
 issue keeps giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
birth to circulate globally as long as invent a new
discipline
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 and show
well behaved
Add a hyphen
well-behaved
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 as an example are not taken.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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