The charts below show the main methods of transportation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009.

The  charts below show the main methods of transportation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009.
The two pie charts compare 5 categories (bus.bicycle, car. train and walking) of
university
travelling
transportation
between2004 and 2009. It is noticeable that
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
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of
university
tavelling
Correct your spelling
travelling
transportation
Correct word choice
and transportation
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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experienced a
sognificant
Correct your spelling
significant
fall over the
5
Add a hyphen
5-year
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year
period
while
this
figure for
bus
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buses
show examples
and
bicycle
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bicycles
show examples
saw a big rose. In 2009, 51 %
Change preposition
of an
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
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average
university
travelling
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
transportation
on
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by
show examples
car
Add an article
the car
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went on which is the largest pie
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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chart
however
by 2009 the figure for
this
category had fallen by 28%.
By contrast
, in terms of
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
the percentage of
university
travelling
transportation
this
category made up33% in 2004, and after 5
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
this
figure
for
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apply
show examples
saw a sharp increase
at
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to
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46% making it the largest
transportation
of all.
In the
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The
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smallest percentage of vehicles belonged to
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
in the first
year
,
however
, next
year
period there was a 7% rise in
this
category.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words university, transportation, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public transportation
  • Private vehicles
  • Sustainable transportation
  • Environmental impact
  • Commute
  • Utility
  • Infrastructure
  • Accessibility
  • Congestion
  • Carbon footprint
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