Some people think that children should not watch television as it has negative effects while some people believe that they should watch television as it helps them in their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Throughout the globe, the number of adolescents sitting opposite the screens is increasing tremendously.

Therefore

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, it should be prohibited considering the adverse consequences is thinking of some folks,

whereas

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, other opposes that it might help in the growth of young minds which is beneficial in upcoming years. Analysing I believe, watching excessive video shows can be harmful,

also

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, the parents should take control of the content youngsters are exposed to. On the one hand, one of the main reasons that children should not watch TV shows is that it hinders brain growth, creativity and imagination. Certainly, in toddlers, scientists have noticed speech delays are mainly caused by seeing graphics for a prolonged duration. To support

this

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argument, young ones are usually attracted towards movements, music and colours,

nonetheless

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, communication is still missing.

Thus

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, despite seeing these shows it will be a win-win situation if that time is spent off screens

while

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doing creative activities.

On the other hand

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, television does serve as one of the biggest platforms for learning by providing children exposure to things around the world.

For example

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, many producers typically focus on broadcasting wildlife, birds and places around the globe.

Consequently

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, it is a source of knowledge which is gained from the comfort of home and it will help them in their studies later on.

Hence

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, it can be clearly said that it leads to the

overall

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development of a child's brain. In conclusion, it is argued among some groups whether the young generation should watch TV or not. Considering both notions, in my opinion, it is crucial to limit the hours spent on the screens

as well

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Correct word choice

and

show examples

they should be supervised in order to make sure they are gaining the right piece of knowledge.

ramanpreetkaursetiaSun Jun 18 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay clearly addresses all aspects of the task prompt and presents a balanced discussion of both views.

coherence cohesion

Add more transition words and phrases to strengthen the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
inappropriate content
educational programs
cognitive skills
social awareness
global issues
bonding tool
critical thinking
comprehension
knowledge retention

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