Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many individuals think that

art

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subjects

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such

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as music, dance, sculpture, painting, and many more, are crucial to education,

while

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others claim that

such

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activities are a waste of time. I concur that it is a crucial subject, but I think youngsters should learn about various

subjects

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, not only

art

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. Both points of view will be discussed in

this

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essay. On the one hand, There are a number of reasons why teaching

art

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to kids in school is important, including the fact that it can increase

students

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' self-confidence and help them overcome stage fright.

For instance

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, when

students

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participate in school events where they must perform on stage in drama, dance, speeches, and music, their self-confidence and stage fright will both increase.

Second,

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Children can learn about our cultural heritage by visiting museums.

For instance

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, a teacher should visit a museum or other historical location once every six months.

In addition

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, Teachers should be teaching painting, it would be creativity of mind, If people increase their skills in painting and other

art

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activities it would be they have new ideas.

On the other hand

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, Some people believe that

art

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is only a short-term hobby and

focused

Wrong verb form

focus

show examples

more on

subjects

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like science, technology, and business. Children who are only involved in the

arts

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do not have time for other

subjects

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Due to

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younger

students

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choosing other

subjects

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over

art

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art

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-subject jobs are less common today and require more training.

For example

Linking Words

, let's take the example of photography. We need to spend in high cameras and locations for portfolios so that the public will be interested and artists can earn. Other

subjects

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lead to success more than the

arts

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, so children need to make a greater expenditure on the

arts

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, which is one kind of business.

To sum up

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, schools should emphasize the

arts

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as well as

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other

subjects

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, and teachers should teach

students

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about our cultural history and the advantages of the

arts

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panetariyaragini78

Jun 18, 2023

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Task Response

Address the prompt in a more balanced and cohesive manner by discussing both perspectives with more clarity and depth.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your essay with clear introductory and concluding statements that frame your main points effectively. The essay lacks a strong overall coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more academic and specific terms related to the topic to enhance the lexical resource of your essay.

Grammatical Range

Strive for a wider variety of sentence structures and grammatical accuracy to demonstrate a more advanced command of the English language.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-expression
critical thinking
problem-solving
cultural awareness
tolerant society
STEM subjects
employability
rigorous subjects
curriculum
school budgets
enriches
complements

What to do next:

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