IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
In recent times it has
being
Change the form of the verb
been
show examples
 noticed that a lot of museums collect entrance fees whilst some don't. In my ,opinion I believe that the pros of collecting
money
 on entering the
museum
 are more than the cons and
this
 essay will state the reasons for my opinion. Some disadvantages of collecting admission fees from
people
 can include a reduction in accessibility by all members of the community or a decrease in the freelance of
people
 to appreciate some historical models,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Firstly
,
money
 generated from the admission of
people
 into the
museum
 can be used in the maintenance of
thie
Correct your spelling
this
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 which includes ensuring that the environment is kept clean, all items are cleaned and the environment is beautified and appealing to the sight of viewers.
For example
, in Abeokuta Nigeria, museums that generate entry funds from
people
 have always been reported to be neater and more
people
 tend to go there
instead
 of the free access
museum
.
Secondly
, charging
people
 coming to the
museum
 before they can gain access to the place gives
people
 a sense of responsibility to care for the things in the
museum
 and avoid damaging them in the process of admiring those items and
this
 can avoid extinctions of some important works of arts or historical models.
Furthermore
, the
money
 realized from the entrance fees can be used to employ some casual workers thereby reducing the unemployment rate in the community and
this
 can
also
 ensure the smooth running of the organization's affairs. In conclusion, receiving some token of
money
 for accessibility fee to the
museum
 helps to ensure orderliness and the smooth of activities ,
however
, measures should be taken to avoid
people
 from extortion of tourist lovers via the means
Submitted by ayodelesam.adebisi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: