IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

AT the present time, the population of spme countries includes a relativly large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvanteges?

#time #population #spme #countries #adults #people #situation #disadvanteges
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In general, the population in different places of the globe increasing day by day. Recent trends show that the number of young
people
Use synonyms
 is comparatively larger than older adults. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall discuss how it is advantageous to the nation in terms of human resource empowerment , speed and toughness, and the economic productivity of the country
along with
Linking Words
 disadvantages including lack of direction and experience for a new generation.
Also
Linking Words
 to address whether advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not.
To begin
Linking Words
 ,with the benefits, increasing the density of younger adults strengthens the capability of human resources which is expected to be speedy and more efficient.
For example
Linking Words
 , recent studies reveal that
people
Use synonyms
 in the age group of 20-40 are productive and creative at their work- which enhances the economic productivity of the country . Because of
such
Linking Words
advantages
Add a comma
,advantages
show examples
 a higher number of younger
people
Use synonyms
 would be a preferably better option. On the other ,hand there are some limitations to the aforementioned trend,
this
Linking Words
 includes a lack of care for the old generation and missing their experience sharing with the new generation.
For instance
Linking Words
 , the study shows that
people
Use synonyms
 with age 20-40 , without in contact with old age
people
Use synonyms
 , are unmatured and fast in their decisions which is mostly ended up in unfruitful results. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some disadvantages to increasing the density of younger
people
Use synonyms
 among the total population, its
overall
Linking Words
 advantages outweigh their limitations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is advisable to maintain a higher younger population trend.
Submitted by unnikrishnanpp153 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: