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Band 6.5

Some people say that education should be responsibility of the government but others think that that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #responsibility #government #individuals
How all people can be exposed to high-quality
education
 effectively is always a worldwide concern for every government nowadays.
This
 author opines that every person has to be responsible for improvement by individuals themselves. It is very important to aware that authorities need to pay attention to many nation’s problems
besides
education
.
Due to
 the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 their most important mission is protecting and developing the country with the residents’ lives.
As a result
, the governing system can’t utilize radically all of the state budget to invest in schooling and ignore other crucial aspects.
Thus
,
education
 should be the responsibility of everyone.
However
, a minority of the crowd argue that it is necessary for the statement to be responsible for training generally. The main reason for
this
 thinking is
education
 plays an important role in developing countries and not all folk can connect to discipline equally.
As a consequence
, that will be unfair if the government don’t spend most of its money on teaching.
This
 point may be correct, but civils need to care of themselves learning.
This
 writer believes that tutoring is indispensable for everybody and we should concern ourselves with
education
 more.
For
this
 reason,
instead
 of relying on support from regulation, we can equip ourselves with good training through our efforts and exploration. Because of
this
, residents should be responsible for their tutoring,
instead
 of domination. In conclusion, the best way to access good
education
 is to find it yourself and don’t upon anyone, by
this
 way, we can enjoy the best quality for us.
Education
 is always instrumental in our lives and society, and enquiring about our knowledge can help us to be worldwide citizens.
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grammatical issues
Address grammatical issues and awkward phrasing for better clarity and fluency.
expand examples
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balanced discussion
Ensure there is a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before presenting your opinion.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
balanced presentation
The writer presents both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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