Nowadays, online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. Do the befefits outweigh the drawbacks, in your view?

#stores #befefits

The popularity of

internet

Correct your spelling

Internet

show examples

shopping

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

increased dramatically in recent years and it overtook the position of in-store shopping.

Although

purchasing one's need online has been a time-saver and flexible resource,

this

tend

Change the verb form

tends

show examples

to create negative impacts on product judgement and employment. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and outline the reason why I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

the

befefits

Correct your spelling

benefits

internet

shopping outweigh the

drawbacks

. Indeed, every

advantages

Change to a singular noun

advantage

show examples

comes with disadvantages. One of the major

drawbacks

of online shopping is causing a huge number of unemployment, especially in retail shops. Since many people started shopping online more

regulary

Correct your spelling

regularly

, work hours and wages of retail shop assistants were reduced.

For instance

, some of them were dismissed and most of them

were struggled

Change to the active voice

struggled

have struggled

show examples

with income as individuals were able to purchase a range of products online

under

Change preposition

during

show examples

the Covid-19

situations

Fix the agreement mistake

situation

show examples

. The other negative impact of shopping on websites is definitely, being unable to try on the goods that

customer

Correct article usage

the customer

show examples

wants.

Impossiblity

Correct your spelling

Impossibility

of checking out the products before buying

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

causes to increase

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

rate of

wrong-parchase

Correct your spelling

wrong-purchase

such

as size or colour.

In addition

, it not only takes some time to get

exchange

Correct article usage

an exchange

show examples

right

Add an article

the right

show examples

size or colour but

also

get

Fix the infinitive

to get

show examples

refund

Add an article

a refund

the refund

show examples

as the employees of online shops are usually dealing with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

amount number of consumers. Certainly, those are the

drawbacks

of online

parchasing

Correct your spelling

purchasing

. By

contract

Correct your spelling

contrast

show examples

, there are significant benefits on the other side. The most attractive advantage is that

internet

shopping can be a time-saver. If people are busy with

thier

Correct your spelling

their

work or social lives, they could make orders anytime

Change preposition

apply

show examples

anywhere in the world. Avoiding a

timespent

Correct your spelling

time spent

time-spent

in shops physically

also

provides an

opportuniny

Correct your spelling

opportunity

to have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extra time for yourself.

In these

Change preposition

These

show examples

days, as many people

works

Change the verb form

work

show examples

much longer hours than in the past, they might be able to use

thier

Correct your spelling

their

extra time for maintaining their health

from

Change preposition

show examples

doing

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities,

such

as doing yoga or joining a gym. In fact, some

says

Correct subject-verb agreement

say

show examples

that being able to shop anything online contributes to

help

Change the verb form

helping

show examples

them to have a life-work balance.

The another

Remove the article

Another

show examples

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

point of

internet

shopping is

varieties

Fix the agreement mistake

variety

show examples

. Customers can not only choose the items that they need from a range of varieties but

also

compare the prices between the websites. If you found a good on sale and saved some money, you could have a chance to purchase

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another product.

Clearly

Add a comma

,Clearly

show examples

those are the great deals. In conclusion,

although

I discussed the befits and the

drawbacks

of online shopping, it is obvious that online shopping is growing continuously as it is convenient for anyone. In my opinion, I believe the view,

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

nowadays

internet

shopping is essential in most societies.

Submitted by keiko_o_1209 on Mon Jun 19 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

443 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. Do the befefits outweigh the drawbacks, in your view?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The only way to improve safety in our road is to give sticker punishment for driving offenses to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

The popularity of online education has grown significantly in recen years. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?