Nowadays, online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. Do the befefits outweigh the drawbacks, in your view?

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The popularity of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

internet
Correct your spelling
Internet

The word internet doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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shopping
have
Change the verb form
has

The verb have does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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increased dramatically in recent years and it overtook the position of in-store shopping.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

purchasing one's need online has been a time-saver and flexible resource,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

tend
Change the verb form
tends

The plural verb tend does not appear to agree with the singular subject this. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to create negative impacts on product judgement and employment. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I will discuss both views and outline the reason why I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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the
befefits
Correct your spelling
benefits

If you don’t want befefits to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

shopping outweigh the
drawbacks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Indeed, every
advantages
Change to a singular noun
advantage

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun advantages. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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comes with disadvantages. One of the major
drawbacks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of online shopping is causing a huge number of unemployment, especially in retail shops. Since many people started shopping online more
regulary
Correct your spelling
regularly

If you don’t want regulary to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, work hours and wages of retail shop assistants were reduced.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some of them were dismissed and most of them
were struggled
Change to the active voice
struggled
have struggled

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb struggled in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

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with income as individuals were able to purchase a range of products online
under
Change preposition
during

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the Covid-19
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation

It seems that situations may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. The other negative impact of shopping on websites is definitely, being unable to try on the goods that
customer
Correct article usage
the customer

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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wants.
Impossiblity
Correct your spelling
Impossibility

If you don’t want Impossiblity to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of checking out the products before buying
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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causes to increase
the
Change preposition
in the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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rate of
wrong-parchase
Correct your spelling
wrong-purchase

If you don’t want wrong-parchase to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as size or colour.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it not only takes some time to get
exchange
Correct article usage
an exchange

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to
right
Add an article
the right

The noun phrase right size seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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size or colour but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

get
Fix the infinitive
to get

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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refund
Add an article
a refund
the refund

The noun phrase refund seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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as the employees of online shops are usually dealing with
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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amount number of consumers. Certainly, those are the
drawbacks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of online
parchasing
Correct your spelling
purchasing

If you don’t want parchasing to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. By
contract
Correct your spelling
contrast

The word contract doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, there are significant benefits on the other side. The most attractive advantage is that
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

shopping can be a time-saver. If people are busy with
thier
Correct your spelling
their

If you don’t want thier to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

work or social lives, they could make orders anytime
at
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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anywhere in the world. Avoiding a
timespent
Correct your spelling
time spent
time-spent

If you don’t want timespent to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in shops physically
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

provides an
opportuniny
Correct your spelling
opportunity

If you don’t want opportuniny to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to have
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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extra time for yourself.
In these
Change preposition
These

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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days, as many people
works
Change the verb form
work

The singular verb works does not appear to agree with the plural subject people. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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much longer hours than in the past, they might be able to use
thier
Correct your spelling
their

If you don’t want thier to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

extra time for maintaining their health
from
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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doing
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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activities,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as doing yoga or joining a gym. In fact, some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say

It seems that the verb says does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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that being able to shop anything online contributes to
help
Change the verb form
helping

The verb help may be in the wrong form after the preposition to. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

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them to have a life-work balance.
The another
Remove the article
Another

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article The before another. Consider deleting the article.

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benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial

If you don’t want benefical to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

point of
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

shopping is
varieties
Fix the agreement mistake
variety

It seems that varieties may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. Customers can not only choose the items that they need from a range of varieties but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

compare the prices between the websites. If you found a good on sale and saved some money, you could have a chance to purchase
an
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article an before another. Consider deleting the article.

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another product.
Clearly
Add a comma
,Clearly

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Clearly. Consider adding a comma.

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those are the great deals. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

I discussed the befits and the
drawbacks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of online shopping, it is obvious that online shopping is growing continuously as it is convenient for anyone. In my opinion, I believe the view,
which
Correct word choice
that

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
nowadays
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

shopping is essential in most societies.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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