IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is a leading to negative consequences. Discuss both the sides of argument and then give your opinion

#computer #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
No doubt ,
education
 is the best and easiest way to get success in their life
however
 ,it claims that online
education
 has merit
whereas
 opponents think that it has demerits .In
this
 essay , I will briefly explain both views and I stand with the first statement. To commence with the former side that computer makes learning easier than past
this
 is because school going children can easily grab any knowledge about any topics in
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
. Needless to say , by watching on screen they can remember it for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 long
time
 period
as a result
 in exams they can easily score well as everything is in their mind
that is
 why they can write and speak in their own words .
For example
 , in my ,country most schools used smart classes to clear the problems of their students in an efficient manner .
Additionally
 , small learners
also
 learn and enhance their skills
while
 watching it on the screen. On the second side , the computer
also
 leads to a number of negative consequences as these days some teenagers spend their leisure
time
 on it
while
 playing video game , watching numerous video which is not related to
education
.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 covid pandemic children were at home and play multiple games like PUGE , free fire and so on ,
hence
 they become addicted and faced depression and other mental health issues
moreover
 they give less
time
 to study and
left
Add a missing verb
are left
show examples
 behind in it . Adding more, they can
also
 avoid their Parents and elder people when they used their cell phones by
this
 the bond between both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them becomes weak and stay stable for long
time
 periods at a particular place even some are skipping meals and some do overeat which directly harms their health. In conclusion,
although
 using Computers is not a bad idea to change their personality
nonetheless
 it
also
 affects the lifestyle of pupils as they totally depend upon technology and give less
time
 to their own parents and
education
 .
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: