IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Workers
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 prefer to
work
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 in
one
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 workplace for their entire
work
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life
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 because it is comfortable for them to give their best
work
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. I believe that
workers
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 should explore many different workplaces to
gain
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 more
skills
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. Many
people
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 are stuck in
one
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 establishment for their whole
life
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 because they are used to the
place
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 and the other
workers
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 they have been working with. That helps them to give their best in the
work
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 they are doing, which will help them to upgrade their salary easily. And they don’t need to travel to too many cities and settle in
one
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 city because it helps them to stay relaxed and comfortable with their
life
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.
For example
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, many teachers
work
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 in
one
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 school all their working
life
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 because they are comfortable with the school and the other teachers they
work
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 with. I believe that
workers
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 should
work
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 for different establishments because it helps them to have a new
experience
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 in a new
place
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. That will help them to get more
skills
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 from the new
people
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 they
work
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 with because they have a lot of knowledge about the workplace they have been working in. Gaining more
experience
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 from others helps
workers
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 develop their potential at
work
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. By
experience
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, in different places,
people
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 can
gain
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 more knowledge about the
work
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 they are doing.
For instance
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, many computer engineers
work
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 in different companies to
gain
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 more knowledge and
skills
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 in different coding languages to help them develop their coding
skills
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. In conclusion, working in
one
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place
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 gives some
people
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 a relaxing
life
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 because they are used to the
place
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 they are living in, but I do believe
workers
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 should
work
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 for different places to
gain
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 new
experience
Use synonyms
 and
skills
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader better.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points in detail.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your opinion with more reasons or evidence.
task achievement
You presented your opinion clearly at the beginning and in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay includes reasons explaining both views, showing a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
What to do next:
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