At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

The population of some nations is the topic of discussion. In my opinion, the benefits of

this

outnumber the drawbacks. The first benefit would be for the people who are living in countries, Society needs young and sharp workers

due to

the economic inflammation.

For example

, a company is in the middle of an economic crisis and the human resource prefers to hire youth to increase the value of the company. So, by hiring young workers, the economy can be saved.

Moreover

, the second advantage is that, when a country has a large number of youngsters, that country is happier because those places have a high energy level.

For instance

, a group of people who work all day can manage their daily routines and squeeze the plans into their day like having a night out with their friends or Some outdoor activities.

On the other hand

, the population of some areas inducing the young compared with the elderly can bring negative paints

such

as having so many issues about using drugs and the experience which they do not know a lot.

However

, by putting Some restrict rolls about drugs, the government can control them and

also

by helping juniors by having workshops, they can improve their experiences. In conclusion, I believe that there are too many advantages like having young workers to improve the economic inflammation and

also

the society with a younger generation is happier.

Furthermore

, it can bring some negative points like using drugs and having no experience.

However

, there are so many ways to improve those negative issues.

Submitted by mahnazshafie1998 on Tue Jun 20 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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