IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#aim #science #people’s #lives
Recently, the
aim
 of
science
 has gained certain popularity among the public. It is widely noticed that some
people
 believe that the priority goal of
science
 should be to focus on improving
people
’s lives.
This
 article mainly aims
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the analysis of my opinion and gives some related examples.
Firstly
, the target of
science
's focus in increase
people
life
’s quality is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the most important aims. For one thing, scientists who make
science
aim
 to improve citizen’s lives are like gain live convenience.
Such
life
 convenience includes the development of entertainment 、household electrical appliances、
as well as
 transportation.
Consequently
, all citizens can take the benefits of the
science
, it can make their
life
 easier. Another thing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that
people
 would get longer
life
 expectancy when scientists make an effort in medicine. To be specific, they can get better in the development of drugs, improvement of surgical techniques,
as well as
 medical equipment. A good example is the development of the Covidien 19 vaccine, the companies develop the vaccine which helped boost their immune systems to fight new viruses. All the things of relative medical treatment may be good for personal health and extension expectancy
life
. In my opinion,
however
, it is well known that itself
aim
 of
science
 is the discovery of the earth but things are publicly unknown.
Therefore
, the most important
aim
 of
science
 is not only to concentrate on how
people
 make benefits from
science
 but
instead
 to explore all of the things in the world.
Such
 as the origin of the human species, ways to use natural resources wisely, and exploring outer space. There has an example is Charles Darwin's theory, in which he only did research on the origin of the human species, there does not contain any other purpose.
Although
 many fundamental human requirements are satisfied by using scientific knowledge, which
also
 raises living standards. Some
people
 think that enhancing
people
's lives should be
science
's top priority. I have to point out the limitation of
this
 statement that the most important aims of
science
 are
also
 focused on learning more about the natural world.
Submitted by wrlsr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: