In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's society, Education is an aspect of life
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
given
Add a missing verb
been given
show examples
utmost
Correct article usage
the utmost
show examples
importance.
While
in many countries young people
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to
endroll
Correct your spelling
enrol
in vocational training
instead
of pursuing
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
education.
However
,
this
practice brings about a mix beg of both and bane. I believe that work-based training surely brought positive benefits for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
students.
Therefore
, the advantages clearly
outshines
Change the verb form
outshine
show examples
the disadvantages. On the constructive part,
younglinges
Correct your spelling
younglings
youngling
is blessed with numerous
mertis
Correct your spelling
merits
because of apprenticeship at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age.
To begin
with, being employed just after
finish
Replace the word
finishing
show examples
school can bring
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of responsibility.
for
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
instance, In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
recent article published by
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
magazine reported that approximately 80% of
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
youth started their own career
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
eighteen and
mostly
Add a missing verb
were mostly
show examples
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
in it.
Secondly
, vocational training can enhance abilities to try newer things. To illustrate, many students
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
found their desired career during their
on the job
Add a hyphen
on-the-job
show examples
training period.
Famous
Add an article
The famous
show examples
founder of
big
Add an article
the big
show examples
textile brand in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
got inspiration from his first part-time job in
cloth
Add an article
a cloth
show examples
factory.
Thirdly
,
earing
Correct your spelling
eating
show examples
in their initial stage of age has benefited them in
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
aspects of life.they become independent and learn to deal with real-life challenges. It can make them wise and mature.
in
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
this
phase
while
they are
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own they are more likely to avoid
sily
Correct your spelling
silly
mistakes. On the destructive part, there appears to be short-coming
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
trend.
chiefly
Correct your spelling
Chiefly
show examples
,
teritary
Correct your spelling
tertiary
education is essential for
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
and development of
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
.
Univercity
Correct your spelling
University
can sharpen
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
and skills of
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
at
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
level.it is
also
worth
to mention
Change the verb form
mentioning
show examples
that higher
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
provide stable life and bigger salaries.
similarly
, it is often observed that youngsters
stuck
Add a missing verb
are stuck
show examples
in their basic jobs forever.and
also
develop laziness to switch
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there is no significant drawback
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
outweigh the advantages.precisely trying every kind of work can open
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of opportunities for students.
Submitted by sharmap1811 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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