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Writing Samples
Band 6

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data in the two given tables provides a lot of information about the degree of
temperature
Use synonyms
 and the
time
Use synonyms
 of
sunrise
Use synonyms
 and sunset in December 2018 in
London
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
. Generally,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was higher than in
London
Use synonyms
; the
sunrise
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 was earlier than in
London
Use synonyms
; and so was the sunset
time
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Sydney
Use synonyms
's maximum and minimum
temperature
Use synonyms
 levels on Saturday,
29th
Correct article usage
the 29th
show examples
, were 28 and 18 degrees,
while
Linking Words
 on the same day,
London
Use synonyms
 had only 13 degrees
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the maximum and 3 degrees
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the minimum.
Sydney
Use synonyms
's
temperature
Use synonyms
 was higher than
London
Use synonyms
's.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is
sunrise
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
. It appears that
Sydney
Use synonyms
's
sunrise
Use synonyms
 hours on Friday 28th and Saturday 29th were
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 to six AM,
while
Linking Words
London
Use synonyms
's were about five past eight AM.
Sydney
Use synonyms
's
time
Use synonyms
 of
sunrise
Use synonyms
 was earlier than
London
Use synonyms
's.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the sunset period in
London
Use synonyms
 was faster than in
Sydney
Use synonyms
. It was about three to fourteen p.m. in
London
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 it was six past eight p.m.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, time, sunrise, london, sydney with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperatures
  • hours of daylight
  • comparison
  • London
  • Sydney
  • December 2018
  • weekend
  • information
  • data
  • summarise
  • select
  • report
  • features
  • analysis
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