It is important for all towns and cities to have large outdoor public spaces such as park. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It has been frequently opined that urban areas ought to have open areas like ground. I completely agree with
this
view because it could play a crucial role in the betterment of the locality, and the same would
be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
Wrong verb form
will
To begin
with, natural vegetation and free spaces could be beneficial in a plethora of ways. Initially
, the developed or developing cities are occupied with a large number of industries and automobiles and it has a great contribution in deteriorating the air quality. Consequently
, afforestation could remove the contaminated harmful gases from nature, as trees inhale the carbon dioxide and exhale the oxygen. Besides
, the majority of the masses are suffering from respiratory diseases in the cities due to
polluted air. For instance
, individuals fighting asthma or other lung problems need fresh air to breathe and this
is possible, only if, they are surrounded by plenty of plants.
Furthermore
, in the world of ,concrete a particular region with flora and fauna is really a blessing to spend quality time with family and friends. The young ones, who are brought up in congested places, definitely deserve open areas to create beautiful memories of their childhood and it is good for their health as well. For example
, in this
era, children love to play video games rather than outdoor sports, and it has a detrimental impact on their mental, physical, and social health. Nextly
, adults could Rephrase
Next
also
go for brisk walks periodically, and they can maintain a good physique. Therefore
, playgrounds should be constructed in the big towns as well.
In conclusion, greenery has a significant role in maintaining nature`s balance and providing a healthy environment for residents. It could reduce the risk factor of an unhealthy lifestyle and citizens can lead a good life.Submitted by jhajjravneet9 on
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Task Response
Task Response: The essay presents a clear opinion in agreement with the statement, and provides supporting points that are relevant to the topic. However, some ideas are not fully developed and could benefit from further elaboration.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The overall structure of the essay is logical and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, there is a need for clearer connection between some main points and examples. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the flow of ideas.