Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Music

is considered the greatest bridge between individuals with diverse cultures and ages. I strongly believe

this

assumption since

this

type of art can improve cooperation skills and emotional connections.

To begin

, one of the unrepeatable forms of art that connects the public with the author emotionally is

music

. It evokes feelings that cannot be described by words, including joy, empathy, or nostalgia.

Additionally

, these are the only feelings that people can sense social harmony through which causes relentless jumping and singing with the large audience. It is highly recommended adolescents partake in

this

type of show more often because it offers improvement in their social life.

Furthermore

, individuals undergoing therapy are highly advised to go to concerts in order to feel socially united and enjoy the flow of positive emotions. Making a piece of good

music

with the help of multiple musical instruments will enhance collaborative skills.

For instance

, well guitarist can be the author of many awesome

music

but if he tries to do it with a percussionist, it will require more effort than the previous ones.

Moreover

, they can swap instruments which enables them to explore new sounds, techniques, and rhythms. In

this

case, amateurs not only get to know other types of musical instruments but

also

have a chance to work with people from diverse backgrounds and build mutual respect among musicians of different cultures and ages. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the view that

music

plays a crucial role in emotional associations and the promotion of collaborative work.

Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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task achievement

Expand on your examples to make them more specific and relevant. For instance, provide names of musical events or bands known for bridging cultural and generational gaps.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with some awkwardly phrased sentences. A little more clarity and refinement in your phrasing could help your points come across more smoothly.

task achievement

Discuss a counter-argument to increase the depth of your analysis. For example, address the idea that some might believe language barriers in lyrics or different musical tastes could divide rather than unite.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

The main points that music helps in forming emotional connections and improving cooperative skills are well-expressed.

task achievement

You show a good balance in discussing both emotional and collaborative impacts of music.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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13/05 Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

POPULATION: The number of people who decide not to have children has increased greatly Do you think this is a positive or negative development

In some coutries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them