IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the sun.

The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the sun.
#greenhouse #gases #trap #energy #sun
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The diagram demonstrates how the
heat
Use synonyms
 from the sun stays in the atmosphere. The
heat
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energy
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 comes from the sun, and the other
heat
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energy
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 comes from the activities of people. Some part of the
heat
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energy
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 reflects the space, but some are not. Some of it stays on the earth in the atmosphere, and it is trapped in the greenhouse.
Then
Linking Words
 the
heat
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energy
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 will be used. Human activities
such
Linking Words
 as cutting trees, transportation, using private vehicles, and the process of factory production are the reasons that cause greenhouse gases.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
heat
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energy
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 comes from the sun, and the other
heat
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energy
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 comes from the activities of people. Some of the
heat
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energy
Use synonyms
 reflects in the space, and some is trapped in the greenhouse. The
heat
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energy
Use synonyms
 can be used for doing something else
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words heat, energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "stays" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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