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Band 5.5

Technological innovations have negatively affected our lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#innovations #lives
It is widely believed technological
innovation
 has affected our lives. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
 statement for a variety of reasons. I party agree that technology has benefited
very
Correct pronoun usage
us very
show examples
 more in our life. One of the main reasons can be that technological
innovation
 help
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
people
 very many knowledge about education.
For
example
, the children can learn math on youtube because they don’t understand in class or they feel don’t enough and when the children learn on youtube, they learn more good knowledge than in class. Another reason can be that technological
innovations
 can help
people
disposal
Replace the word
dispose
show examples
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 easily and fastly.
For
example
, Microsoft
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 Excel which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
 can statistical data on business or statistic on
days
Correct article usage
the days
show examples
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 of an employee,etc... On the order hand,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with the view that technological
innovations
 make affect
people
’s life.
Firstly
, technological
innovations
 are a place
too
Change preposition
for too
show examples
 much toxic
information
 and bad program spam
everywhere
Add a missing verb
is everywhere
show examples
 on social media.
For
example
, when technological
innovations
 develop strong
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 toxic
information
 or bad education make
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
children,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 will learn negative everything.
Secondly
, when technological
innovation
 develops
also
 places hackers attack to
information
 of the government.
For
example
, when
people
 create very AI
then
 hackers use AI to attack to
information
 business of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 or flinch military data and they will buy
information
 for every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
 technological
innovation
 is necessary for
people
’s lives, I’m convinced that
people
 must learn more about technology and they must use it in a useful way.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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