It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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this

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day and age, more and more people tend to take

risks

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to find valuable opportunities. Every individual holds different views about the significance of taking

risks

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in both their work lives and home lives. From my point of view, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. On the one hand, when we take

risks

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, we can learn several essential skills that are necessary for our lives. If people could address the challenges, they would develop their problem-solving skills. As an example, President Ho Chi Minh of Vietnam accepted to face the danger to gain the independence and freedom of the country during his lifetime.

As a consequence

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of constant efforts and studies, he

finally

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finds a way to save his country. In brief, those who are familiar with

risks

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will be well aware of essential ways of cutting corners, knowing how the market fluctuates, and getting ready to face the music. Once most of their possibility of losses has been reduced to a very low level,

risks

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can be regarded as opportunities in which one can receive more valuable things, enjoying the most fruitful results.

On the other hand

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, getting out of the safe zone could lead to numerous negative impacts for us. Many people decide to do crucial work without calculations, and

as a result

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, they lose all of their finances and suffer mental illness.

For instance

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, a copious amount of youth startup by opening the café. They get loans from their friends, family, and even the banks.

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, 60% of them are bankrupt, they had to liquidate their café to salvage some of the money that they had invested.

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, unable to bear the pressure of failure, they fall into depression. In conclusion, every coin has two sides and

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issue is the same.

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taking

risks

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has both its pros and cons, I strongly believe that the disadvantages surpass the advantages.

jakelong16091994Wed Jun 21 2023

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structure

Ensure that the introduction directly addresses the question and outlines the essay's structure. Although the introduction in this essay generally aligns with the topic, it could be more precise in stating the writer's position and the structure of the points to be discussed. This would offer a clearer roadmap for the reader.

content

Support main points with clear, relevant examples and further explanation to reinforce arguments. Some points are sufficiently elaborated, but others require more detailed examples and a clearer connection back to the main argument, particularly in the second body paragraph.

cohesion

Work on developing clearer topic sentences and transitions between ideas. These elements assist in guiding the reader through the argument and help maintain a well-organized essay. This essay could benefit from stronger transitional phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs.

task response

To adequately address the task, ensure that both advantages and disadvantages are discussed evenly, showing a balanced approach before concluding. It appears that the essay leans heavily towards the disadvantages, which could indicate a one-sided response to what is typically a balanced question.

conclusion

In concluding your essay, aim to summarize the arguments presented without introducing new information. The consideration of both sides before stating the final opinion should be clearer. Reinforce why one outweighs the other, based on the arguments made throughout the essay.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

Many people around the worlduse social media everyday to keep in touch wth otehr people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outhweigh the disadvantages?

Raising the cost of international flights is the best way to reduce air pollution. Do you agree?