IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

All students should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Various controversies have emerged as to whether students should study a
second
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language
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 in elementary school. Some people claim that
this
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 might jeopardize their
mother
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tongue
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. From my perspective,
however
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, the benefits of learning a foreign
language
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 far outweigh its drawbacks. One primary reason is that learning a new
language
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 can broaden
pupils
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’s horizons. Empirical studies have provided considerable evidence that juveniles who learning a
second
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language
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 or even a third
language
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 have more creativity than others. When people use different
languages
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, their thinking has a variety of perspectives on the same thing.
For instance
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, when it comes to drawing a chair, children who only learn Chinese usually treat it as an item without any gender.
Nevertheless
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,
pupils
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 who learning Chinese and Spanish will think it has female gender. As can be seen,
languages
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 have a profound impact on children’s creativity. Opponents often argue that foreign
languages
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 in detrimental to our
mother
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tongue
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. They state that if
pupils
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 study a foreign
language
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 too early, they might forget their native
language
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.
Nevertheless
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, these
languages
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 from different countries will not supplant our first
language
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;
instead
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, there might be a combination between these
languages
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 and improve the expression of the local
language
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. Take Japanese
for example
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, the are a variety of borrowed words in
this
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language
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 since the original words can indicate those things overseas
such
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 as motorcycles and tomatos. By learning a
second
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language
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,
pupils
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 have the opportunity to learn their
mother
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tongue
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 even faster, which is a win-win result. By way of conclusion, I firmly believe that
pupils
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 should learn a
second
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language
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 as soon as they get into school. Learning a foreign
language
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 can not only broaden their horizons, but it can
also
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 help them learn their own
mother
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tongue
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 even faster.

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Task Achievement
To further refine your essay, consider exploring the complexities of your argument in greater depth. Introducing diverse viewpoints and then systematically refuting them can add depth to your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, there's always room for improvement in transitions between paragraphs. Seamless transitions make your argument even more compelling.
Task Achievement
You've presented a clear and comprehensive argument in favor of students learning a foreign language from an early age, which aligns perfectly with the task.
Task Achievement
Your examples, such as the one about the chair's gender perception in different languages, are relevant and enhance your argument significantly.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, including a good balance between introduction, body, and conclusion, makes your argument easy to follow.
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