The diagram shows how chocolate is produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
The diagram gives information on the steps required to make
chocolate
. Overall
, there are ten steps, from growing the cocoa
trees in suitable locations to finally
pressing the cocoa
beans
to liquidize them and produce chocolate
.
At the start of the production process, cocoa
plants with favorable
climates are planted in either South America, Africa, or Indonesia. Change the spelling
favourable
Then
, when the cocoa
pods have matured and turned red, the next step is
harvesting them by cutting them open with a knife and emptying the white cocoa
beans
inside. Thirdly
, the beans
are fermented by being sandwiched between banana leaves before being spread out to be dried under the sun. Once adequately dried, the cocoa
beans
are put in large bags and weighed before being transported by either trains or lorry to a factory.
At the factory, the beans
are roasted at 350 degrees Celsius before transferring to the crushing machine. The roasted beans
go through a spinning machine which crushes the beans
while
separating the outer shells. Finally
, this
inner part of the beans
is squeezed by a press machine, turning it into liquid chocolate
ready to be used in various chocolate
products.Submitted by cathyngo1512 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chocolate, cocoa, beans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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