Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
It has been argued that one of the best outcomes for traffic congestion and air pollution problems is increasing the price of fuel. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
idea and will explain it further
.
On the other hand
, the higher price of petrol makes vehicle users convert their transportation mode. Workers as the biggest user of private transportation will begin to use Trans-Jakarta, LRT or MRT and soon the problems might be solved. However
, traders also
need to deliver their kinds of stuff by cars or trucks as a result
, this
will lead to other problems such
as increasing daily grocery prices and also
will be followed by the increase in other services prices.
Another possible solution to cope with this
problem is converting the type of vehicles
into more environmentally friendly ones. Some companies have developed electric vehicles
which enable them to run without gas emissions thus
means the reduction of air pollution. Additionally
, allowing half of the employees of the company to work from home is the best answer to reduce the traffic jam. For example
, some companies in Jakarta have been scheduling workforce arrival to office and 3 days office workday. These rules will be applied interchangeably to minimize the number of cars or other vehicles
in the street, especially during rush hours.
In conclusion, despite accomplishing the problem, raising the fuel price can lead to higher daily service and material prices so it would be better to change the transportation mode in electric vehicles
and companies to adjust the regulations for the employees’ office attendance.Submitted by christineangela59 on
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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear response to the task, the structure could be improved by clearly stating your disagreement in the introductory paragraph and outlining the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Further develop your points by providing additional specific examples or supporting details. This will add depth to your argument and make it more robust.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that this idea is related to the overall argument of the essay. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
relevant specific examples
The essay contains relevant ideas and examples, such as the impact of increased fuel prices on groceries and the benefits of electric vehicles.