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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Living in a big city can be bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #people #health
Significant movements of
people
 have been witnessed from the countryside to the cities.
This
 trend tends to be detrimental to the
health
 of the individuals living in a
city
. In
this
 essay, I will highlight various compelling reasons behind
this
 notion and how it has a negative impact on our lives. Living in a
city
 has paced our lives at a rocket level where the day ends at a fast speed.
This
 results in giving anxiety and stress to us as it is hard to manage our lives in terms of work, study, and leisure time. The stress has adversely affected our well-being and mental
health
.
Moreover
, air pollution is another factor putting the
life
 of
city
people
 at risk. With the rise in air pollution, the air quality is tremendously getting worse. Hundreds of cars running on the road are the cause of
this
 proposition.
This
 leads to asthma problems, lung infections, itchy throats, and cough disease in individuals. 
However
, inhabitants like to live in the
city
 as of the abundance of facilities available to the
people
.
For example
, there is probably a single hospital serving in a countryside or village, which has a long waiting time to see the doctor resulting in delays in receiving
health
 treatments.
Whereas
, the
city
 has more hospitals serving
people
 and assisting with their
health
 problems as the ambulance is a number away from
people
 in terms of any emergency. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it's the lifestyle of individuals which has a direct impact on their well-being. Whether one's
life
 in a
city
 or village, we are responsible to maintain a balance of diet, work and
life
 to lead a healthy
life
.
Submitted by mehakg727 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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