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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is difficult for people who live in cities to get enough physical exercise. What causes and solutions can be taken to solve the problem?

#people #cities #exercise
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Doing
exercise
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 can be difficult for the
people
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 who live in a city. I think
this
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 is partly
due to
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 the facilities offered by the city. In other
words
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,words
show examples
people
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 who live in a city have much more chance to access technology and it can be the reason for getting lazy. If the government encourage
people
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 to do
exercise
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 the
problem
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 might be solved. To some extent using technology might be beneficial.
On the other hand
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, sometimes it can be the reason for getting lazy. To clarify, nowadays
people
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 do not willing to
use
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 their physical mobility because there are some technological gadgets which can do it
instead
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 of themselves. If they had not been invented, citizens would have had to
use
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 their physical power.
However
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, it is not possible nowadays.
As a result
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 of
this
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,
people
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's mobility rates face with drastic decrease
while
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 humanity's
use
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 of technology rates increase.
For example
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, technological devices
such
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 as escalators and elevators are not used in the suburbs so villagers have to
use
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 stairs.In order to ,
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this
Add a missing verb
do this
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 their physical mobility is much higher than others.
To begin
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 with, the most detrimental effect of the above situation is the potential for the number of
people
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 struggling with obesity to rise.
This
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 will be dangerous for individuals so it should be fixed. A way to fix that
problem
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 would be to encourage
people
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 to do sports.
Therefore
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 the government should raise awareness.
Thus
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people
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 might learn the possible results of lack of
exercise
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. The government can
use
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 some methods to fix that
problem
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such
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 as advertisements. If there were public announcements about the results of lack of
exercise
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 on TV
people
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 would imagine themselves as a person who acted in
this
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 announcement.
Then
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 they might tend to change their unhealthy lifestyle with a more exercised life. Another way to fix that
problem
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 would be to encourage
people
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 to
use
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 healthier transportation ways
for instance
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 biking or walking. If some advantages were given to
people
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 who
use
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 these transportation methods, others would prefer these too.
For example
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, in
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
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Netherlands
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,Netherlands
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 the state encourages
people
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 to
use
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 bikes and
also
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 the state raised other
vehicles
Change the noun form
vehicle
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 taxes. After that
people
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 started to
use
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 bikes and nowadays most
people
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use
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 them rather than cars. In conclusion,
people
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 have been struggling with some hassles in cities because of cities' features which force
people
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 to be lazy.
On the
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contrary
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,contrary
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 it might not be a permanent
problem
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 if the steps I mentioned in the third paragraph were used.
Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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