IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some Some people fail to maintain balance with work and other aspects of life. What are the reasons for failure? How can it be solved?

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Maintaining a
balance
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 between
work
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 and other aspects of
life
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 is a challenge many
people
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 face today. The reasons for
this
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 failure often stem from demanding
work
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 environments, poor
time
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management
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, and societal pressures.
However
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, solutions do exist to help
people
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 achieve a better
work
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-
life
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balance
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. One major reason for
this
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 imbalance is the increasing pressure at
work
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. Many jobs now require long
hours
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, with the expectation of being constantly available, even outside of working
hours
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.
This
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 leaves little
time
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 for personal
life
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, hobbies, or family.
Additionally
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, poor
time
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management
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 can
also
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 be a factor. Some
people
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 struggle to prioritize tasks, leading them to spend too much
time
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 on
work
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-related matters
while
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 neglecting other important areas of
life
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.
Finally
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, societal expectations often push
people
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 to prioritize career success over personal well-being, leading to burnout. To solve
this
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 issue, both individuals and employers can take steps. On a personal level, better
time
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management
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 is crucial. Setting clear boundaries between
work
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 and personal
time
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,
such
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 as avoiding checking
work
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 emails after
hours
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, can help. Employers can support
this
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 by promoting a healthier
work
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 culture, where
work
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-
life
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balance
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 is valued.
This
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 might include offering flexible working
hours
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 or remote
work
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 options, which allow employees to manage their
time
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 more effectively. In conclusion,
while
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 maintaining a
balance
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 between
work
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 and
life
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 is challenging
due to
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work
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 pressures and poor
time
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management
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, it can be addressed with better personal strategies and supportive workplace policies. Finding
this
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balance
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 is key to long-term happiness and well-being.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to support your points. Examples can make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are well-supported with evidence or detailed explanations. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame your essay. This helps in guiding the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of the issue. This enhances the overall readability.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both reasons for and solutions to the work-life balance issue, providing a complete response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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