IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some Some people fail to maintain balance with work and other aspects of life. What are the reasons for failure? How can it be solved?

#people #balance #work #aspects #life #failure
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Maintaining a
balance
 between
work
 and other aspects of
life
 is a challenge many
people
 face today. The reasons for
this
 failure often stem from demanding
work
 environments, poor
time
management
, and societal pressures.
However
, solutions do exist to help
people
 achieve a better
work
-
life
balance
. One major reason for
this
 imbalance is the increasing pressure at
work
. Many jobs now require long
hours
, with the expectation of being constantly available, even outside of working
hours
.
This
 leaves little
time
 for personal
life
, hobbies, or family.
Additionally
, poor
time
management
 can
also
 be a factor. Some
people
 struggle to prioritize tasks, leading them to spend too much
time
 on
work
-related matters
while
 neglecting other important areas of
life
.
Finally
, societal expectations often push
people
 to prioritize career success over personal well-being, leading to burnout. To solve
this
 issue, both individuals and employers can take steps. On a personal level, better
time
management
 is crucial. Setting clear boundaries between
work
 and personal
time
,
such
 as avoiding checking
work
 emails after
hours
, can help. Employers can support
this
 by promoting a healthier
work
 culture, where
work
-
life
balance
 is valued.
This
 might include offering flexible working
hours
 or remote
work
 options, which allow employees to manage their
time
 more effectively. In conclusion,
while
 maintaining a
balance
 between
work
 and
life
 is challenging
due to
work
 pressures and poor
time
management
, it can be addressed with better personal strategies and supportive workplace policies. Finding
this
balance
 is key to long-term happiness and well-being.
Submitted by hebadyala on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to support your points. Examples can make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are well-supported with evidence or detailed explanations. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame your essay. This helps in guiding the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of the issue. This enhances the overall readability.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both reasons for and solutions to the work-life balance issue, providing a complete response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: