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Band 6

Some Some people fail to maintain balance with work and other aspects of life. What are the reasons for failure? How can it be solved?

#people #balance #work #aspects #life #failure
Some individuals struggle to
balance
work
 with other commitments.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons for
this
 issue and suggest solutions. One key reason is the lack of boundaries between
work
 and personal life. Employers often contact employees outside of working hours, expecting them to address
work
 issues during personal
time
.
For example
, doctors are frequently on call, making it difficult for them to participate in family activities. To tackle
this
, employees should establish clear rules,
such
 as not responding to
work
 calls or emails during holidays or after
work
 hours, to protect their personal
time
. Another reason is poor
time
 management. People who struggle to manage their
time
 effectively often find it challenging to
balance
 both
work
 and family commitments. Without proper
time
 division, they may miss important family events like weddings or gatherings.
For instance
, mothers working from home might face difficulty completing tasks on
time
, leading to missed family activities. To solve
this
, they can create a daily schedule to allocate specific times for
work
 and family, ensuring a more balanced lifestyle. In conclusion, many people fail to
balance
 their
work
 and personal commitments
due to
 unclear boundaries and ineffective
time
 management. By setting clear boundaries with their employers and organizing their
time
 better, they can improve their
work
-life
balance
 and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their family responsibilities more effectively.
Submitted by hebadyala on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt, outlining both the reasons and potential solutions for failing to balance work and other aspects of life. However, while your arguments are strong, adding more diverse examples and further elaboration on certain points could strengthen your essay even more.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph has a clear main point and includes supporting details. To enhance even further, consider using more varied linking words to ensure a more seamless flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an effective introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points efficiently and clearly.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples that support the main points, making your arguments more compelling.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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