IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people prefer to directly help or support people who need it in the local community. However, others prefer to give money to the national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give your opinion.

#people #support #community #money #charities
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Helping
people
Use synonyms
 in need is the most noble work a person can do. Some
people
Use synonyms
 opine that helping someone in pain at the same moment is more important than donating
money
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 charitable institutions nationally or internationally.Both
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 have
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 Own valid reasons that will be discussed in forthcoming paragraphs before giving my opinion. crowd feel a sense of self-worthiness by rendering a helping hand to
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
show examples
 in pain. They feel happy when they volunteer
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as a social worker at
hospitals
Use synonyms
 caring for elderly or disabled denizens. To exemplify, I consider myself blessed when I go to
day care
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
hospitals
Use synonyms
 in my free time to take care of old
people
Use synonyms
 with their medicines and other
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 activities. I feel that I have done something towards my community.
Hence
Linking Words
, volunteering in
hospitals
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 in need inculcates a sense of satisfaction . There are others who think that
money
Use synonyms
 plays a great role in serving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. No doubt, there are cases where
people
Use synonyms
 who are not rich could not afford monetary help to save their family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
. In
such
Linking Words
 cases , cash can help save a human
being
Change noun form
being's
show examples
 life. Not only
this
Linking Words
 donating
money
Use synonyms
 to schools and
hospitals
Use synonyms
 can become a boon for society as they will be upgraded with
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 technology of
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world. To exemplify, famous actor "Salman Khan" had donated
Money
Use synonyms
 for the construction of
Cancer
Correct article usage
a Cancer
show examples
 hospital in Mumbai which now has become India's topmost cancer hospital to save
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
Hence
Linking Words
 ,
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 can be a blessing for those who are not so wealthy and cannot afford costly health treatments.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 fiscal help can help citizens in
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
show examples
 of ways
such
Linking Words
 as getting free health treatment,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of schools or
hospitals
Use synonyms
, helping them physically by taking care of their daily needs and showing your presence makes more difference.
Submitted by rimmcybehl on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • philanthropy
  • grassroots
  • non-governmental organizations (NGOs)
  • altruism
  • donation
  • volunteer
  • sponsor
  • beneficiary
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • advocacy
  • impact
  • scalability
  • community development
  • fundraising
  • non-profit sector
  • humanitarian aid
  • social responsibility
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