The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The given bar chart presents the percentage of men participating in senior development in the chosen companies from 1980 to 2010. From
overall
perspective, Apple had the most share in the first 15 Add an article
an overall
years
. On the other hand
, IBM surged to be on top for the next 15 years
of period time. IBM has
got the least compared to the others in 1980 with only 1%. In 1990, they had a significant increase to approximately 12% of participation. 2010 saw the most dramatic rise for IBM, twice as high as in 2000 with 62%.
As Unnecessary verb
apply
of
Microsoft, they had about 8% in 1980. The number grows gradually Change preposition
for
for
the next 20 Change preposition
over
years
. 2010 shows a remarkable development that
they reach 55% of men’s participation in senior development.
Change preposition
in that
Event
though the mentioned companies have positive trends each year, Correct your spelling
Even
the
Apple shows a fluctuation over the course of 30 Correct article usage
apply
years
. They started with 14% in 1980,
and somehow decreased 2% in 1990. They have Remove the comma
apply
noticeable
rise in 1995 and down in 2000. Just like the other companies, in 2010 the percentage grew to 25%.Add an article
a noticeable
the noticeable
Submitted by baitynuris191 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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